


Criminal Minds One-Shots

by spencer_reids_hands



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Bisexuality, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Gay, Humor, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, M/M, Smut, Straights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencer_reids_hands/pseuds/spencer_reids_hands
Summary: A series of one-shots about the BAU and how chaotic they all are. Requests in the comment section are accepted and appreciated :)
Kudos: 16





	Criminal Minds One-Shots

"I'm so glad you're okay, mostly because it means I can kill you on my own now," JJ said, white-knuckling the steering wheel, not taking her attention away from the dimly lit streets. Spencer shrunk down in the passenger seat, fiddling with the red and white plastic bracelet that scratched where his ulna protruded out. He didn't say anything and she continued. "I mean, really, Spence? What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that the average human should stay awake for no more than seventeen hours to get their necessary sleep, but I already don't get that much sleep. So, logically, I figured I should create an experiment to see how long I could stay awake?" His voice grew smaller the more he talked and saw JJ clench her jaw.

It was four in the morning, Will was at home with Henry and she had to rush out of her sleep at three in the morning to collect Spencer from the hospital because he thought it was a good idea to-

"So you mix Red Bull and coffee?" She yelled. 

"And Mountain Dew!" He added, then bit his tongue. "If it makes you feel any better, it tasted horrible so I probably won't do it again."

"'Probably,' Jesus, Spence, you're ridiculous. I mean, it's one thing to have a messed up sleep schedule, we all do, it's part of the job, but staying awake for seventy hours?"

"I stayed awake longer in college," He grumbled, but she kept on.

"You crashed so hard your downstairs neighbor heard you fall! You're lucky too because your doctor told me they had to flush out your system and pump your stomach? You have a history of seizures, Spence, you know how dangerous that was. And you better thank apartment 13 for calling 911. _God_ , I'm so glad I'm your emergency contact and not anyone else who would either be too nice or kill you too quickly!"

"Come on, JJ!" He protested, still wired from his lack of sleep and surplus of caffeine. "It's not that bad! Just bring me to my apartment and I'll sleep it off."

"Spence, your doctor told me not to leave you alone. You're coming home with me," 

"But my other doctor said it was okay!"

"Is the other doctor you?"

"I don't have to answer that, technically."

She groaned, resisting the urge to either put her head in her hands or put her hands around his throat-she'd decide when they got home. 

The rest of the ride was silent, Spencer biting his tongue to prevent any rambles as they came to his mind at lightning speed, only encouraged by the residual caffeine in his system. Yellow streetlights shone on their faces every twenty meters and he fiddled with his thumbs. When they pulled into her driveway, one light on in her house based on Will's silhouette through the curtain, she took a deep breath. 

"Do you want to tell the team or do I have to?"

"Why do they need to know?" He cried out, already dreading their mixed laughter and concern. "I'm fine!"

"They need to know because the doctor wants you resting for twenty-four hours, which means no work tomorrow. I'll drop you off at your apartment tomorrow before I head into the office, but you have to stay home. _After_ I get rid of all your caffeine."

"That's just cruel! I'll just go back to the store and buy more! Don't make me waste my money. It's actually more dangerous to quit cold-turkey than it is to wean yourself off. I need my coffee, Jennifer."

She shook her head, getting out of the car evidently done with the argument. She didn't wait for him to do the same, but he did, following her like a duckling. 

Leaving in a haste left her house in disarray, Henry waking up and refusing to go back to sleep until his mother came back. He was more than pleased to see her reappearing with his Uncle Spencer. 

Fighting his way out of his father's arms he rushed to Spencer, jumping up in hopes that Spencer would catch him. He did, like every other time. 

"Whoa!" He yelled, adjusting Henry so he could put his head on Spencer's shoulder. "What're you doing out of bed?"

"Mommy woke me up when she yelled a bad word," He smiled and JJ swore again, this time under her breath. Spencer grinned sheepishly, knowing he was the cause of the foul mouth. "I was waiting for her! But now you're here too!"

"Yeah, Bud, I'm here. But I'll be here in the morning too so how about you go off to bed and we can talk in the morning?" Spencer tried. He looked over to Will who nodded to Henry's room, telling him he could go put him to bed. The excitement of seeing his Uncle had him wired, nearly as much as Spencer was, but he needed sleep, also nearly as much as Spencer. 

Henry's room was something Spencer thought he would've liked if allowed to have it at his age. Walls painted a grey-blue, a small bed with planets on the duvet, a soft stuffed TARDIS that Spencer had gotten him, even if Henry didn't know what it was he could still gain comfort from the plush. 

Spencer put Henry down in bed, tucking the covers over him and saying goodnight. He was turning to leave when Henry protested. 

"Wait!" He cried, and Spencer twirled around so quickly you'd think someone shouted 'Gun!' "Uncle Spence, sleep with me!"

Spencer laughed softly. "Bud, I don't think I can. When we have sleepovers I normally sleep in the blanket fort you help me make, but there's no room for me here."

Henry jumped out of bed, chubby legs moving fast. He plummeted to the floor, grabbing under his bed until he found what he needed. He put a pillow on the ground next to the bed and threw a pile of blankets down, displaying it to Spencer like it was a masterpiece. 

"Sleep there!"

Spencer glanced out Henry's door and sighed. The guest bedroom would be so much more comfortable and his body already ached thinking about sleeping on the floor, but when he looked back at Henry, puppy-dog eyes, he relented. 

"Okay, let's get you back in bed."

He retucked Henry in, reading him the shortest story he could find to appease the child. Henry was nearly asleep when Spencer had finished, clenching to the plushie tightly. Spencer laid down in his own 'bed,' carefully spreading out the blankets so he had some semblance of cushioning underneath him. 

He pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to Hotch. 

_-Hey, Hotch, I had an incident, I'm fine, but my doctor told me I'm on bed rest for twenty-four hours. JJ will explain in the morning._

He set the phone down, noting it was nearly dead but he had no charger. He wasn't prepared for a sleepover at the Jareau's house, no charger, no change of clothes, no glasses case. But it didn't stop him from laying back down on his blanket and pillow. 

He surprised himself, nearly falling asleep as soon as he put his head to the pillow. _Nearly._ He tossed and turned a bit, and Henry noticed. Without saying anything he leaned over the side of his bed, handing Spencer a stuffed octopus, and went back to sleep. Spencer squeezed the faux animal experimentally, deciding he liked the feel of it, coupled with the fact that his godson thought it would help him sleep, he brought it to his chest and rolled over, facing the door, and felt his eyes start to flutter shut, staying closed in longer increments until sleep finally crept in, slowing his breathing and keeping his eyes closed, still clutching the stuffed octopus. 

He was so tired he didn't even notice when JJ opened the door, checking to see if everything was okay. He was only supposed to put Henry to bed and then she was going to yell at him a bit more, but she forgot why she was angry when she walked into her son's room. 

Henry and Spencer were mirror images, both facing the doorway and cuddled up in their blankets. Spencer had his legs bent at the knees, not quite enough room on the blanket for him to stretch out, but Henry splayed across his bed, still so tiny. They both clutched stuffed animals to their chests, fast asleep. Henry was in this phase where he drooled a lot, and it looked like Spencer might've been doing the same thing. 

She couldn't help but go over, giving them both a kiss on the forehead goodnight and taking some pictures of the two, looking so peaceful.

"Goodnight, boys," She said, closing the door softly behind her. 


End file.
